When a marriage is falling apart, some couples decide to have a baby. They think that it will give them more focus and that the shared experience of parenting will bring them closer. Maybe they always wanted a family, and they think the issues in the marriage are because they are just a couple, not a family.

You can understand why people make these arguments, but it is not a wise move and it does not work. If a marriage has issues, a baby won’t fix them. It may actually make them worse.

For instance, did you know that 66% of couples claimed, just three years after a baby was born, that they felt their own relationship’s quality had dropped? They felt that, as a couple, they were in a better place before the baby. After the first five years with a new child, studies also show that 13% of couples get divorced. This was for couples who were already married when the child was born.

If a happy couple feels like their relationship gets worse after having a child, and it may even lead them to divorce, what type of impact is it going to have on your struggling relationship? Is it really going to bring you closer, or is it just going to make life more complicated?

That said, if you and your spouse already had a baby, being parents has to be your first priority. That’s true even through a divorce. Make sure you take the time to carefully consider all of the legal options that you have to put the child first at this time.